My fellow blogger friend, Alen Standish, has re-branded the Quit Binge Eating Podcast. The new podcast is called Progress Not Perfection.
If you have a chance and want to listen to what it's like to cycle back through a "slippery slope" process once you've experienced being well for awhile, listen to this epidsode (PNP041) The Perfectionist
Alen did a great job of telling his story, the self-talk that lead to the spiral. I especially liked how he has two friends that are his support system. The thoughts that lead to the behaviors. I applaud Alen in having the courage, strength, and mind-set to address his own stuff. To own it. And to share it with us! It's a great gift, so Thank you.
So, two of my own thoughts rolling around in my head this morning:
I can tell you, that when I am faced with a planned or sudden stressor ( death, emergency, bad news) I do reach out to a friend who I KNOW will call me on my binge eating. I don't want someone to tell me "Oh, it's okay, don't be so hard on yourself.... eat XYZ". I tell that person that "I will NOT binge eat over this stuff". And, I didn't.
I can tell you that in 2 years having 5 family members placed on hospice (all have since died) and a friend die in an accident , is pretty hard emotionally. Even without the grim reaper, what good would eating a cookie or a cinnamon roll or some freaking cassarole that some "well meaning" person drops off? Food doesn't really fix death, grieving, or anything but hunger.
Putting food in the "fuel" bucket is the right place in my mind. I know others say food is more, but that opens the door for me to justify ANYTHING. So for me, it is fuel to keep my body running. Nutritionally dense. Cookies displace the nutrients that my body requires to run well, think well, and be well physically and mentally.
Eating emotionally always makes things worse for me in the long run. The outcome is the person is no longer on this earth. No cookie will solve that! I feel the pain, grieve through it and hit the gardens or the beach.
Food templates: In the podcast Alen said that his personal food template is 85% (on his plan). Trying to be 100% was not the right thing. I'll bet that under 85% would also not be the right for him, either thing- just a guess. Only he knows.
For me, I need to be around 98%. At 95% the binge urges come back and I'm back to my old behaviors. Slippery slope thinking, eating processed foods, gaining my weight back. A bad spot I've been hundreds of times in 40 years. A place I choose to not go back. Which means I honor that.
Picking my own percentage of time to be on my food template was one of the best things I ever did. It's one of my best ways to succeed in long term weight maintenance and food sobriety. Nobody else can do that work. We are all different.
Trying to apply what works for others without looking at what works for yourself and being really, really honest got me more of the same. Looking at what worked for others and crafting my own plan got me into solid weight maintenance, a clear mind, and no using food for anything but fuel.
What works now:
1. Listening to great podcasts like Alen's and listening and reading other stories of recovery.
2. Calling friends for support who will not enable my old behaviors.
3. Sticking to a 98% food template all of the time. Even when the going gets tough.
What didn't work in the past:
1. Getting to weight maintenance without much continuing education. Once a week meetings was not enough in the start.
2. I would hide from people I knew would call me on my own stuff. Not so effective.
3. Moderate eating of "comfort foods" during tough times. Thinking I was being "kind and easy" on myself.
Alright, head over to Alen's blog and give a listen if the topics interest you. :) Here's to continuing education, podcasts, and great support. Onward!