Yeah, life happens like that sometimes. His passing was not unexpected.I'm back to the normal routine today. Even though life happens, having structure within an eating, exercise, and relaxation routine really helped get me through the stuff I couldn't control. I cannot control the grim reaper. I can control my reactions to my feelings and I can be mindful about food.
What worked:
1. Food:Planning to eat from my food plan. I made Plan A (grocery store for regular foods), Plan B (eating out regular foods that are from a Paleo Template), plan C (asking for someone to buy foods for me) to stay on track. The relatives are so accommodating. Only had to do plan A & B.
2. Exercise- setting up time to walk every day. I had to walk at different times, but I did get my 10,000 steps a day. Not easy considering events I could not control, 106 F temperatures and higher during the day. It was still 100F at 8pm at night.
3. Time for myself: I planned time to photograph (during walking time), read, hike and a little bit of Container Store shopping therapy to relax. I listened to podcasts and chillaxed. Even cooking regular foods was relaxing. Since others knew I was doing the cooking for the family, no "mystery" casseroles showed up from well meaning friends. Yeah!
4. Support: I reached out to another blogger, one who would be able to call me on my own BS in a second. I knew that there was another human that I wanted to touch base with that knew me and that I knew that I'd be checking in with her later. Just thinking ahead to 2-3 weeks down the road and conversing with other bloggers like me was so grounding and took my mind to a place that was not in an immediate crisis. A big thanks to Norma and a few emails early on in the process.
I don't want ANY one to tell me to "eat whatever". That's what gets me off track. That's what takes me away from food sobriety. I didn't do all of this work to go back to my old ways.
I also had a nice chat with Heather Robinson from Half Size Me a few weeks ago on a podcast interview (the episode has not aired yet, I'll put up a link when it airs). Death can through me off balance with emotional eating. Having her response in my head was also very helpful.
What didn't work in the past:
1. Food: I'd eat when I was sad, stressed, very down, very happy, or what ever emotion I could use to eat some more sugar & wheat filled, frosting covered food. I gained weight and all those emotions were stuffed down. Not effective.
2. Exercise: I would use the "I'm traveling excuse" to sit a lot. No stress relief either. I didn't understand the power of exercise and mind/body balance.
3. Time for myself: It was always about what the group wanted to do. I rarely took time for myself.
4. Support: I didn't always seek support fast enough.
That's the scoop. I'll be back to regular blogging soon. I'm aware that grieving comes in cycles, so I'm staying very aware, feeling (not eating) my feelings. I'm getting ready to read a book called 8 minute meditation and start an 8 week everyday meditation time daily. Onward!
"I cannot control the grim reaper. I can control my reactions to my feelings and I can be mindful about food."
ReplyDeleteThis here sums up 99% of what weight loss/maintenance is about. Recognizing our emotions and controlling our reactions to them. Because we can't always control circumstances. But you worked with the circumstances -- planned as much as possible, stayed in the moment, FELT your feelings, and didn't betray YOURSELF in the interest of a Comfort Cookie.
My sincere sympathy for your loss, Karen; and hope that good memories eventually win out over tears.
Thanks again, Norma. Comfort cookies. Oh , I remember that well. Better to remember with stories and photos.
DeleteBeing able to know I could and would deal with the grief without eating and looking 3 weeks in advance is key.
So sorry for your loss Karen. Your loved one will live on in your memories. I love that you sought out support when you knew you needed it. I always think of who can support me in my real life. Who knows our struggles better than other bloggers who have similar experiences? "I don't want ANY one to tell me to "eat whatever". That's what gets me off track. That's what takes me away from food sobriety. I didn't do all of this work to go back to my old ways." Love this part. Exactly how I feel everyday. And I love being food sober. Thanks for being such a great support for me:)
ReplyDeleteSo glad that other people get it , Leigh. Thank you.
Deleteplease accept my condolences, too! i'm glad you had support and managed to maintain balance during this difficult time -- wise woman!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tess. Eating from a Paleo template really helped. My whole family enjoyed it , too. That was rewarding.
DeleteMy sincere condolences Karen. I have thought of how I will navigate the Grim Reaper and have been scared in the anticipation of his strikes. This post was helpful to me today and I plan to reread it in future.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Vanessa! I know I'll have to navigate this path more often , so having a set process and some structure helped a lot.
DeleteI am so very sorry for your loss, Karen. :(
ReplyDeleteI am glad to hear that you were able to compartmentalize your grief, from your health. You should stand as an inspiration to many for that. It's so easy to knee-jerk reaction to stress and tragedy, and yet it's the very worst thing we can do, because ultimately, it just compounds our own emotional misery. Kudos to you for realizing that pre-emptively, and choosing wisely. That's what wisdom and sound healthy living does for one, doesn't it?
Hi Gwen. You are so right. Compounding the problem just is not good. Better to face it head on.
DeleteI'm so sorry for you loss, Karen. Take care of yourself, as you go through the grieving process. I admire your ability to reach out and get support when you need it. I just started MF, and I think you went that route too. I'd love to connect sometime via email.
ReplyDeleteI'll send you an email this weekend E Jane. Glad you found my blog. 90% of the traffic to my site is from MF peeps looking for recipes. I hope that more people from MF look into good maintenance strategies.
DeleteSo sorry for your loss. You're right, just feeling the feelings is hard but necessary. I hope the meditation helps you cope.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your loss. You sound like you have the right support.
ReplyDeleteIf someone told me to eat whatever I want, it would just be an open invitation if I was vulnerable enough.
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I agree totally with you about not wanting to hear someone say to "eat whatever"!! My main simple rule is "no wheat" and I find this gets me through most situations, wherever I am. It cuts most of the crap and helps to sift through the minefield that is food today!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear of your loss. It sounds like you had a plan to stay on track and a great support system in place.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Karen, for your loss and the loss to your family. I'm also really proud of you for taking such good care of yourself. I'm very inspired by what you've shared.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. I agree that having time for yourself is a big help. I have found walking to be very good for doing meditation and working things out. Sounds like you have a good plan. Definitely make time for you.
ReplyDelete