Saturday, December 13, 2014
4th Christmas abstaining from grains, sugars, and holiday baking- getting back more than I gave up!
One of the great gifts I gave myself when I began abstaining (gluten and sugar for weight loss, then grains and most sugars in weight maintenance) Christmas 2011, was my first time since the late 1970's that I got clean at Christmas.
Ghost Of Christmas past: One of my big gifts was the snipet of clarity from stopping binge eating while I lost weight. I remembered that one Christmas I gave all my candy to a family member. The late 1970's. "Take it all, I want none" I told my family member. I was probably the age my daughter is now, 14. Somehow my teenage brain just wanted a break from the yo-yo dieting, the binge eating, the highs and the lows. That was the first time I could remember stopping binge eating since age 6. It's all my kid brain could do.
More recently: Flash forward to 2011-2012. Those two Christmases had me pacing and having lots of binge urges Christmas eve, some Christmas days. Major white knuckling paid off. I stayed clean, off sugar, grains and the voice that said, "It's Christmas, eat one paleo treat, cookie, fudge, you can go walk it off Christmas morning". More pacing. Thank my Higher Power for Angry Birds, Christmas music, and some spiced tea.
Current thoughts: Each time I give up something that kept me binge eating. It's really not my fault. It's nothing I'm doing Christmas wrong. I don't need to Paleo harder. I certainly don't need to learn to moderate all foods. That only fuels my binge eating. And I know it. I had to get so honest with myself. Clarity, honesty, willingness to change traditions and simplify. To walk away from this blog and do the work.
Starting more than I stopped: (aka- what works, what didn't work)
What didn't work:
1. Stopped holiday baking and food gift giving
2. Stopped binge eating to numb
3. Stopped decorating the house so much
4. Stopped trying to put up a traditional tree that the cats would demolish each night.
5. Stopped going to cookie parties.
6. Stopped enabling others by giving non-food gifts.
7. Stopped feeling obligated to go to church related activities.( bell ringing excluded- Jr. Family member is a champion ringer) Such a stress relief!( I listen, smile, clap, and sneak out the door to one of the best beaches on the West Coast... my higher power is found on the beach)
8. I stopped feeling out of control, guilty, sad, and stopped hating myself.
9. I stopped gaining 5 pounds each Christmas and making false promises of Jan weight loss.
What works now
1.Started to listen to Christmas music more often.
2. Started to hit the beach for super long walks. Yep! nothing better than the ocean.
3. Started to sleep more and watch less TV
4. Started to connect more to friends and family.
5. Started to travel more to places like Hotel Del Coronado and Christmas on the Prado (San Diego)
6. Started to use spices (cinnamon, peppermint extract) for some coffee add-ins, with coconut milk.
7. Started giving more to charities ( My favorite is Heifer Project, flock of chicks, yes!)
8. Started simplifying gift wrapping
9. Started giving more gift cards, no guilt, just less stress
10. Started taking more holiday photos
11. Started taking evening walks and enjoying other people's light displays.
12. I started living more fulling, stone cold food sober.
13. I started living long term weight maintenance fully.
I started more than I started. That's one heck of a gift. Here's to eating within your food template, your plans, and OWNERSHIP like a freaking holiday BOSS. Weight maintenance for a 2014 holiday WIN!
Yeah.... Ho, Ho, Ho... Safe travels my friends. This holiday will come and go. Put yourself firmly as the driver of your sled, sleigh, car, and life. Best. Christmas. Gift. Ever.